The Amazing Spider-Man

Spider-Man has never been one of my favorite superheroes. To be honest, I've always found the character kind of boring. Every now and then I've enjoyed a comic book or a video game, but there's only so much spider-angst I can take. I feel the same way about the Raimi trilogy; I don't love any of them, nor do I hate any of them. Spider-Man 3 is dreadful, but I don't really think about it. So I am open to the idea of a reboot as a fresh start. Too bad it came out rotten. Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is a loner student living with his Aunt May (Sally Field) and Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen). His parents disappeared mysteriously when he was little, and he's pretty depressed and bored, except for his crush on Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone). When Peter solves his dad's algorithm about regeneration and teams up with his dad's old partner (Rhys Ifans), life is on the up until Uncle Ben is killed trying to stop a robber. After buying a suit and making webs, Peter becomes Spider-Man, defending New York from criminals and the ghosts of the past. I was dumfounded after seeing this film. I thought superhero movies of this quality had died out with Punisher: War Zone. You know, the kind with no redeeming qualities. I hated The Amazing Spider-Man. I hated everything about it; from the nonsensical and severely cut-down plot to the terrible direction and wincingly awful script. I hated the stupid villain, the snail-like pacing, and the cheap CGI. Most of all though, I hated that it didn't even try. The Amazing Spider-Man immediately kills all semblance of creativity in favor for a completely commercial romantic comedy that just happens to feature Spider-Man. Now, you may be asking: "Jess, why get so worked up over a character you don't dig that much?" Because even though I'm not a huge Spider-Man fan, I recognize the endless potential of the character. Writers like Brian Michael Bendis and Todd MacFarlane have done, dare I say it, amazing things with Spider-Man, and I know there are even more great stories out there. But this movie is the bare minimum of the franchise's potential. Like I said, they didn't even try. We even have to see all the stupid super-strength and sticky fingers jokes from the original film, and there's barely any action or charm. The only thing I can relate this film to is Twilight. That may seem harsh, but The Amazing Spider-Man is that generic and asinine. It feels more like the pilot for an MTV show called "Peter and Gwen" than a superhero movie. Everything from the insane finale to the sad lack of J. Jonah Jameson is just so inept and mediocre. And remember that facepalm-inducing moment in Spider-Man 3 when Spidey posed in front of the American flag? Remember how the film had at least been building its silliness up to there? The Amazing Spider-Man starts that low and never looks up. Nuff said.