Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Rating: 0/5

The Transformers cartoon and toys were an important part of many people's childhoods, including mine. When the first movie came out, I didn't think it was great, but it was entertaining. I expected the same thing from the sequel. What I got instead was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I'm giving it the lowest possible flixster rating I can, but I wish I could give it lower. This movie is so awful it creates a new genre of terrible films.

So what if it's based on a series of toys? That's absolutely no excuse to disregard basic tenets of narrative and film making. As for the narrative, why the HELL should I care about Shia LaBouf or Megan Fox? I want to see awesome robot fights, not two horrid actors with absolutely no chemistry.

I am so tired of everyone saying that they will see a movie just because of Megan Fox. She is "hot" in the blandest, most boring way possible, and she's possibly the worst actress working today. If you really want to see a girl just as attractive as her for free, go to your local beach or Hooters.

I've never seen so many pointless characters in one movie. From obnoxious human characters to never named robots, all of them are undeveloped and uninteresting. Speaking of undeveloped, why in the world are the Transformers only in a 4th of their own movie? Why spend $200,000,000 on Soundwave and Devastator, if they're not gonna do anything?

The story? What story? It's like diarrhea, a huge, unintelligible mess. The writing is even worse, and don't even get me started on the action scenes. If I had any idea what was going on during these scenes, the movie would get at least half a star more. The awful cinematography, combined with the ugliest robot designs I've ever seen creates the worst action I think I've ever seen.

Also, did we really need to have a movie longer than The Dark Knight? Really? REALLY?!? But all I've said isn't the worst part. That honor goes to Skidz and Mudflap, two twin Autobots who walk like monkeys, have big lips, grills, and talk in cartoon Ebonics. I'm offended, not racially, but by the fact that producers or writers would actually use this as humor in 2009.

Overall, I could never express my full hatred for this movie for killing my childhood and giving me this movie. He's the biggest hack in filmmaking history. If see it in a store or blockbuster, burn it.