Book of Eli Review

Rating-*

This is my first review with spoilers in it so be warned.

If you really couldn't figure out what Denzel's mysterious "book" was by the trailers, I'm telling you right now. It's a bible. That's it. Nothing special. Well, it is the "last bible in the world," or whatever, but "The Book of Eli" is basically a 2 hour movie about Denzel Washington taking the bible to somewhere safe.

Despite the terrible story, the rest of it must be ok right? Wrong. The acting is unbelievably miscast, like Daybreakers there are a million unexplained things, and the villiain is incredibly unthreatening. I could not believe that any of the bad henchemen would want to follow Gary Oldman. The action would be ok if it wasn't shot on a dolly and circled the whole time.

There's also a bit of dialogue where Denzel Washington says he's been walking west for 30 years, with god or something as his guide. If that's the case, god is the worst guide ever if it's taken Eli 30 YEARS to cross the country.

The fx are officially the worst I've seen since G.I. Joe. There's one part where Eli stops to look down a broken highway. When we see an upward shot of this, it's a still image, Eli doesn't even move. Not even a photograph, a drawing. If you look hard enough, you can even see the artist's signature.

Now I'm not the best math student, but I predict that 80% of this movie is in slow motion. Even some of the already boring walking scenes. Though I'm criticizing the hell out of this movie, I have to admit, there's one part that I love.

At one point, Eli escapes from his prison in Gary Oldman's town. Oldman's main goon kills Eli's guard for failing. The baddies then run out of the building to catch Eli, and the guard they just killed is standing with them. I was laughing so hard in the theater.

Overall, besides that one goof and a Tom Waits cameo, "The Book of Eli" is not worth the time. Honestly, save your money to see Avatar in IMAX 3D, rent Mad Max for a good postapocalyptic action movie, and skip this movie.