Cowboys & Aliens Review

Rating: 2/5

I think the worst kind of adaptation is the kind that just does its own thing without retaining the spirit of its source material. An appropriate example of this would be 2008's aptly-titled "The Spirit," a film that turned a classic square-jaw superhero strip into a nonsensical mess of female objectification. In comparison, 2009's "Watchmen" made big changes but got the comic book's message across very well. Sadly, Cowboy's and Aliens ends up like the former.

Jake Lonengran (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of the desert with no memory and a lazer bracelet on his wrist. After beating up what appears to be Kris Kristofferson, Jake wanders into the nearest town and finds that he's a wanted man. To make things worse, Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) wants Jake for himself. Come nightfall, the titular aliens attack and kidnap several people from the town, and the rag-tag band of cowboys take off to rescue their people as well as Jake's memory. Oh, and Olivia Wilde has a seret or something I really didn't pay that much attention.

I don't expect much from a movie called Cowboys and Aliens, but I do expect it to be at least a silly good time at the movies. It isn't. Cowboys and Aliens takes itself immensely seriously, and none of the characters ever smile or are happy about anything. Speaking of the characters, they are all complete stereotypes. I don't mean in the unique and archetypal Rango sense of things, I mean that these characters are generic, with no development or anything.

The script and direction of the film also have no sense of pacing or direction. This is evidenced when the movie randomly switches from day to night and has pointless scenes like Harrison Ford tells the Last Airbender to be a man via euthanasia of random people in the desert. It's also inconsistent, touting a line where Olivia Wilde claims that the aliens are blind in the daytime, which is confirmed by earlier scenes, and then the aliens proceed to run out and kill most of the extras. Overall, it's a pretty generic action movie despite the title.

This summer is better than last year. Last year we had very few good flicks like Inception and Scott Pilgrim, and too many Last Airbenders and Predators. This year we have fun stuff like Green Lantern, Captain America, and Horrible Bosses almost every week. Cowboys and Aliens is just a badly written, poorly acted, BORING movie that will hopefully not ruin the summer for everyone.

Battle: Los Angeles Review

Rating: 4/5

Whenever a film like Battle LA comes out, movie critics take the chance to point out that it isn't 2001: A Space Odyssey or District 9. According to these critics, because Battle LA doesn't have the emotional or philosophical depth of the aforementioned classics, it should be ignored and its creators should never work again. And if you enjoy Battle LA, you are a teenage loser virgin who sits in their basement all day long playing Halo and writing fan-fiction. I'm saying all this because according to Rotten Tomatoes, what I just stated is true. I'm here to tell you that it's not.

Staff Sergeant Nantz (Aaron Eckhart) is about to retire. He's done four tours in Iraq and lost too many friends. Suddenly, the human race finds itself at war with a seemingly unstoppable alien race determined to wipe out everything they see. Sgt. Nantz is deployed into Los Angeles, the last bastion of humanity on the American west coast, with the goal of rescuing civilians, and ends up in the middle of a war zone with no way out.

This movie is awesome. The action is intense, the characters, while unmemorable, are human and real, and the aliens are actually smart, moving and thinking like a highly trained military unit. The only reason that the marines triumph at all is because of luck. The script has every war movie cliche of all time, but it all works in a weid way. I actually felt like I was there a couple of times.

The best thing in Battle LA is the atmosphere. When the marines march through Santa Monica, there are dead people and destroyed things all over. The aliens aren't seen until late, and there are moments that truly seem hopeless. It's really well made, and it doesn't try to be District 9, which is good. Also, it's not Halo. Halo is a silly game about a giant green tetris block shooting aliens. Battle LA is about real people fighting desperately against them.

Critics hated this movie. But I'm a critic, and I really liked it. I had a great time. It might be generational, but I think I just saw a good movie. Skip Red Riding Hood, skip Take Me Home Tonight, see Battle LA with a bunch of friends.