Paranormal Activity 3

Rating: 1.5/5

And so the third installment in the increasingly short and unscary Paranormal Activity series inevitably arrives. Seriously, all horror movie concepts get old fast unless they're Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. Most sequels besides those are rushed out and either nothing like the original (Blair Witch 2) or just a retread of it (every Saw sequel). Plus, movies as original and fun as the first Paranormal Activity don't need sequels. At least not ones this boring.

Dennis (Chris Smith) is worried that his stepdaughters Katie (Chloe Csengery) and Kristi (Jessica Tyler Brown) are being haunted by their imaginary friend "Toby." Much to the chagrin of his wife Julie (Lauren Bittner), Dennis sets up cameras all over the house to try and capture evidence. While initially failing to find anything significant, the evidence begins to pile up and Dennis thinks that whatever is in the house is more than just a demon.

I have said this before, but I don't like found footage movies. Besides Blair Witch, they're mostly cheesy, nausea-inducing, and become an not to spend a lot of money on CGI. That is true here because the terrible jump scares rely on the idea that Dennis tapes absolutely everything in his life. Even when the director(s) manage to build a semblance of tension, nothing happens besides camera shaking. Seriously, I actually found myself staring at the ceiling. Even when scary parts do happen, I did not find myself interested.

On the nitpicky side, the movie is supposed to be in 1988, but everyone dresses like a 2010 hipster. The Julie character even has Zooey Deschanel hair and clothes. Also, why the demon ghost thing did no haunting before the cameras were set up is weird. And if Katie and Kristi were haunted as kids, why are they so scared in the first two movies? But I digress. The acting is cheesy, there's too much special effects, people are idiots, and the ending is even more out of left field than The Last Exorcism's.

There's no good reason to see Paranormal Activity 3, but it's not horrible. It is kind of fun at moments and it's competently directed, I guess. The only reason this film exists is to squeeze as much cash from fans as possible, and it succeeded I guess. But who cares? This is my review, and I say it's bad. It's boring, doesn't make any sense, and is NOT scary, proven by the fact that the people my theater started talking to each other and laughing at the scares. Nuff said.