Cowboys & Aliens Review

Rating: 2/5

I think the worst kind of adaptation is the kind that just does its own thing without retaining the spirit of its source material. An appropriate example of this would be 2008's aptly-titled "The Spirit," a film that turned a classic square-jaw superhero strip into a nonsensical mess of female objectification. In comparison, 2009's "Watchmen" made big changes but got the comic book's message across very well. Sadly, Cowboy's and Aliens ends up like the former.

Jake Lonengran (Daniel Craig) wakes up in the middle of the desert with no memory and a lazer bracelet on his wrist. After beating up what appears to be Kris Kristofferson, Jake wanders into the nearest town and finds that he's a wanted man. To make things worse, Colonel Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) wants Jake for himself. Come nightfall, the titular aliens attack and kidnap several people from the town, and the rag-tag band of cowboys take off to rescue their people as well as Jake's memory. Oh, and Olivia Wilde has a seret or something I really didn't pay that much attention.

I don't expect much from a movie called Cowboys and Aliens, but I do expect it to be at least a silly good time at the movies. It isn't. Cowboys and Aliens takes itself immensely seriously, and none of the characters ever smile or are happy about anything. Speaking of the characters, they are all complete stereotypes. I don't mean in the unique and archetypal Rango sense of things, I mean that these characters are generic, with no development or anything.

The script and direction of the film also have no sense of pacing or direction. This is evidenced when the movie randomly switches from day to night and has pointless scenes like Harrison Ford tells the Last Airbender to be a man via euthanasia of random people in the desert. It's also inconsistent, touting a line where Olivia Wilde claims that the aliens are blind in the daytime, which is confirmed by earlier scenes, and then the aliens proceed to run out and kill most of the extras. Overall, it's a pretty generic action movie despite the title.

This summer is better than last year. Last year we had very few good flicks like Inception and Scott Pilgrim, and too many Last Airbenders and Predators. This year we have fun stuff like Green Lantern, Captain America, and Horrible Bosses almost every week. Cowboys and Aliens is just a badly written, poorly acted, BORING movie that will hopefully not ruin the summer for everyone.