My Soul To Take Review

Rating: 1/5

For those of you who don't know, Wes Craven invented and directed A Nightmare on Elm Street, as well as Scream 1-3. And hey, Scream 4 comes out next year! If you're excited, that's good, but whatever you do, DO NOT go see My Soul to Take. It will destroy your desire to see Scream 4, and make you forget about Nightmare.

"Bug" (I don't remember his real name) is one of seven children born on the night the Riverton Ripper, a "mass murderer" who killed a mind blowing 7 people was killed. As it turns out, he's also the Ripper's son. Apparently, the ripper had multiple personalities, and each one went into one of the various children. But wait, they didn't find his body.....never mind forget that he's dead.

This movie takes place in a magical land known as Riverton, Massachusetts, where cops instinctively know to check for knife wounds when a body is determined to have fallen off a bridge. A land where serial killers outright shout their name and go "blaaaah!!" A land where people get stabbed, and there's no tear in their clothes, and after a person is clearly lifted and has their brain crunched or something, sending blood everywhere, their body is spotless.

Riverton's magical attributes also include 16 year olds who are so desperate for a blow job that they chase people through the woods, and puns that make you want to cut your ears off. In all seriousness, this movie has continuity errors up the wazoo, DREADFUL dialogue, DREADFUL acting, DREADFUL directing, and DREADFUL camerawork. Also, the worst 3D conversion I've ever seen, like ever. Also, there's some sort of weird social revolution in the highschool subplot involving a girl named Fang (really) and a blind kid. It's clearly been a looooong time since Wes Craven went to high school.

Overall, this movie is pretty damn horrendous. Why isn't it 1/2 a star? Why am I going to recommend it? Because it's the best comedy of the year. Wait until it's not in 3D and on DVD, then rent it for a good laugh.