Machete Review

Rating: 4.5/5

Robert Rodriguez. I honestly don't know what to think of him. He makes classics like Desperado and Sin City, and then he makes Spy Kids 3 and Shorts. Well, thank god he's making movies like the former again.

This is Machete, 4th incredible movie of 2010 (the other 3 being Scott Pilgrim, Inception, and Toy Story 3, but I digress), an boy is it a winner in every way.

Danny Trejo is Machete, an ex-federale who is chased out of Mexico by a drug lord, and is reduced to illegal immigrant work. Jeff Fahey hires him to assassinate a racist senator, but Machete is betrayed, and now he has to go on a journey of vengeance filled with sex, blood, and explosions.

I'm going to address each part that makes this movie so great. There are 5 parts so get ready. 1: the violence. Decapitations, shootings, disemboweling, I'm talking buckets of blood, and done in a tasteful way unlike Piranha. It's awesome.

2: the sex. Damn do these chicks look good. 3: the acting. All perfect, from Don Johnson to Cheech Marin to Lindsay Lohan. 4: the characters. Steven Seagal is a Mexican drug lord and Cheech is a shotgun wielding priest. Nuff said.

And 5: the story/message. The story seems to be just standard exploitation fare, but in reality is a huge step to the left in one of America's most heated political topics. It's basically a huge middle finger to the right wing, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Go see this movie. Now. Like seriously, stop reading, and go see Machete a million times.