The Lorax

Rating: 3.5/5

Global warming is real. People can deny all they want, but the science is right, and they're not. Climates are changing, oceans are rising, and most things caught in the middle are dying. Governments scramble to show each other up, but just make each other angry and stop. Of course, lots of people are making sure action is taken, though if you think that's the solution, you're mistaken. Now, I'm not here to preach, I'm not here to teach, but I do have a suggestion. If you care about the issue but are too sensitive for hard facts, treat yourself and see The Lorax.

Thneedville is a plastic city, no growth or decay. Nothing natural at all, and the people like it that way. A boy named Ted (Zac Efron) is stricken with love. For the beautiful Audrey (Taylor Swift), who he ees as an angel from above. All Audrey wants is to be brought a tree, but outside town is a wasteland as far as the eye can see. Ted knows where to start to win Audrey's heart; a visit to the mysterious Once-ler (Ed Helms). Ted hears his story of nature's lost glory, and The Lorax (Danny DeVito), who spoke for the trees. Now it's up to Ted to bring trees back from the dead, and avoid the evil O'Hare (Rob Riggle) while he' at it.

There's an early moment in the story, where the film shows man's violence without being frightening or gory. Shortly after the flashback where Once-ler kills the first tree, The Lorax appears and is shocked by what he sees. He and the animals give the tree a grave, lamenting what they could not save. It's a beautiful and heartbreaking scene, so much so my little cousin asked me "are people really that mean?" And that is the message of the film; nature is not just fuel to our kiln. The message is good, and it is told well, but The Lorax still has problems of which I must tell.

The Lorax does two major things wrong; the first of which is generic and lame songs. Each number is rather uninspired, and each one comes off as tried and uninspired. The second fault is that it aims too low, it really is a young'un-centered show. As a result the story is predictable and thin; we know exactly who will lose and who will win. The animation is gorgeous, as is expected; the guys at Illumination are rarely bested. My final critique is that the film is too tame, unlike other eco-films I could name.

I will not lie and say The Lorax is perfect. That's not something I'll do. That would be two lies; to myself and to you. Still, the film has its heart in the right place, even if it shoves its message in our face. The voices are good, the animation is pretty, and most of the film is in fact quite witty. In terms of story and pacing it is a bit lacking, but that wasn't enough to send me packing. Now, I hope you enjoyed this review of limerick and rhyme, writing it took me quite some time. And so my friends, I bid you adieu; I had a good time with The Lorax, and so should you.

Safe House

Rating: 3/5

January and February are, figuratively speaking, the "dump months." This term refers to the fact that January and February see the most releases of bad action and horror films. A prime example was in 2010, when movies in these months included Legion, The Book of Eli, and Splice. Early 2011 featured Jonah Hex, Cowboys & Aliens, and Priest. However, not all Jan/Feb movies are bad; I'm sure there are a couple good ones. All in all, Safe House.

CIA rookie Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds) hates his job; he's stuck inside all day watching a hardly-used safe house in Cape Town. Wishing for a promotion and more time with his hot girlfriend, Matt's life is boring. That is until the agency brings Matt his first "guest," notorious CIA traitor Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington). While waiting for a routine pickup, shadowy mercenaries break into the safe house and kill everyone but Matt and Frost. Now the two must survive Cape Town and each other.

Very few action movies also manage to be psychological thrillers. Some, like Blood Diamond and the Bourne Movies do, but most that try get lost. Thankfully, Safe House skirts between the two genres to last ninety minutes. There are still glaring problems, like no character development, too much shaky cam, and some rather boring scenes, but it's cohesive enough and never bugged me two much. Don't get me wrong, some parts are just dumb, but it's a fun ride overall.

Safe House is actually a surprisingly well made film. Even though the action scenes don't make a whole lot of sense, they are fun to watch. The acting is another story. I've seen Ryan Reynolds do a much better job in silly action movies; he just seems bored here. And Denzel Washington? Oy vey, Denzel Washington. The man has tons of charisma but he's been playing the same character for years. I wouldn't even call his character Tobin Frost, more like Denzel Washington if He Was a Secret Agent.

This is a hard review to end. The film I'm addressing today just didn't leave a huge impression. I saw it and I've moved on. Safe House isn't terrible, nor is it fantastic. It's just an action movie, more of an Under Siege than a Bloodsport. What I mean is that it won't tarnish anyone's career or be shown as part of a retrospective of classic action films. Safe House is, love it or hate it, just a goofy action movie, and that's all.

Kill List

Rating: 4.5/5

I am not the kind of horror fan who tries to show off my resistance to gore or make fun of bad horror. I do both of those things, but my core reason for watching horror films is that I like to be scared, and I haven't been really scared in a while. The last new "scary" movie I watched watched was Insidious, but even that got silly despite how fun the movie was. No, I'm waiting for a scary movie that creates suspense; one that purveys a feeling unescapable creepiness. Looks like I got my wish.

After a traumatic and disastrous job in Kiev, contract killer Jay (Neil Maskell) is having a tough time at home. Money is tight, Jay doesn't work, and he constantly fights with his wife. In an attempt to save his marriage, Jay agrees to join his friend Gal (Michael Smiley) on a "kill list" of three people. The two are given the job by mysterious and very creepy employers, but they decide money is money. However, as the job gets more and more strange and violent, Jay and Gal wonder what they've become a part of.

Complete and utter dread. That is what I feel watching my favorite horror films. Kill List does the same thing, and it is one of the scariest movies I've seen in a very long time. Director Ben Wheatley gives Kill List a nearly impenetrable texture of uneasiness and suspense; using Hitchcockian music, creepy lighting, and great mis-en-scene. Also, I've never heard of either of the leads, but wow. These two do a great job at portraying the paranoia and insanity of their situation incredibly realistically.

Now, usually the worst thing a bad horror movie can do is have an abrupt ending. This is the cheapest way to end a film without closure. But in good movies like Kill List where the whole film is scary, an abrupt ending works. The ending of Kill List leaves an impact; it is completely unexpected and very disturbing. What makes it work so well is that the film has been built up with atmosphere and well-developed characters. Jay and Gal are likable guys in a bad situation; we can sympathize with them.

I was glad to see Kill List. In a time of remakes, sequels, and Shark Night 3D, the appearance of a truly frightening film is a welcome sight. Ben Wheatley has made a well acted, written, and directed horror story that is worth seeing. Kill List will enrapture and disturb you, and it will do it well. The entire film, especially the tunnel sequence (one of the most terrifying scenes of the past fifteen years) kept me on the edge of my seat. If that isn't a recommendation, I don't know what is.